Where is this all going to end?
A friend asked me that once. It seemed like such a simple question and you would think that I would have spent time considering the trajectory of the path that I was on. Maybe I didn’t want to think about it because I knew how things were escalating exponentially. Maybe I just didn’t want to face the inevitable. Or, maybe I had never cared about myself enough to stop and think. I’m not really sure, but for some reason that question, “where is this all going to end?” was burning a hole into my mind.
For days I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I knew my body couldn’t handle much more of the abuse I was putting it under. The painkillers and alcohol I was consuming in one day would have likely killed a normal person. The amount of unhealthy food I was eating would have made anyone sick. Where was this all going to end? Death.
I knew that, I knew that at the speed I was progressing I would not be alive within the year. For some reason, I believe a divine reason, I wasn’t ready to die yet. I saw what it was like for people I love to cling to life and all I was doing is trying to escape it.I’ll spare the details but I rolled up my sleeves to begin a journey with one purpose and one purpose only. I wanted to live through another year. Period. I wanted to “not die.” I still couldn’t answer the question as to where it is all going to end but I made up my mind that it wasn’t going to end on the same path that I was traveling on at the time. My journey began with me. I wanted to change myself.
Yesterday I posted a photo on Facebook of me and my wife. I had to look at the photo a few times because I couldn’t believe how much my wife has changed over the last few years. She looks absolutely stunning. The weight loss in itself is astonishing but the look in her face is what amazed me. She is glowing with health and her smile says so much about how she feels on the inside. That’s my wife, I thought, look at her go! It seems like she’s always in the background but the truth is, her weight loss is just as amazing as mine. 65 pounds on her tiny frame is a HUGE change and boy, does she look great.
That question still pops into my head once and a while and I still can’t answer it completely but my entire view of my journey has been flipped upside-down from how it began.
The journey started with me wanting to live another year. My focus was on me, as it should have been because I had an insurmountable amount of work to do. My wife snatched a baked sweet potato wedge off my plate and couldn’t believe how great it tasted. It was that moment that small sliver of my journey became hers. I suppose I was always leaving her “slivers” of my journey, it usually consisted of cleaning up a mess I had made, covering up for me, or sharing some bitterness.
This was the first time something positive was spawned from my behavior. I was kinda proud of myself that she liked that potato. I look at her now and I know full well that she alone made the decisions that it took to become healthy, fit, and happy but I can’t help but think that first potato wedge, that first “sliver” that fell off my journey had something to do with her amazing transformation.
The slivers didn’t end with my wife. I look at my calendar now and am so humbled by all the wonderful ways I am blessed to help people with slivers of my journey. It may be talking with addicts in recovery, high school kids, presentations at a government building, or in a cooking class, but every sliver that falls generates a new one. Things seemed to have come full circle from the day I saw my path as “escalating exponentially”.
Here’s the point to all of this though:
Whether we want it or not we are all on a journey. It is so easy to have the “live and let live” attitude with our individual journeys but the reality is that our lives are so interconnected that it is impossible to have our actions not affect another person. Your journey is yours and that is your “right” I suppose but we (myself included) need to understand that people you love are watching, people that need help are searching for how you react to challenges. At the end of the day I guess the best question to ask is,” are my slivers worth picking up?” They are going to be picked up by someone either way so why not make them great?
When I started my journey it was to live another year. My journey was about me. My journey is amazing and I don’t want to take anything from it. But the more that time passes I am realizing my journey has less to do with me and so much more to do with others. The truth is that it was always like that and I never recognized it.
Every action and attitude we have is projected into the world and people see it. The people we spend the most time with will be affected the most. Each and every person on the planet has a far greater influence on society than we know and we each have a responsibility to be the best we can be not only for ourselves, but for the people around us. If you want to change the world around you, you have to change yourself and start dropping useful slivers.
I get loads of questions everyday about how someone can help a loved one. It may be food, addiction, or fitness and it breaks my heart to tell them what most already know. Unfortunately, nothing you say to them or give them will change them until they, themselves are ready to change. HOWEVER…. I always finish with saying that the best thing you can do is to be an example and be there to love them regardless of the poor choices that they make.
In my opinion, the best way to convince someone of anything is to show them what they are missing out on by the actions and attitudes that you display. People want to be happy, if you are happy and grateful they will try to figure out why. This is cool because although you have no control of how a loved one lives, you have complete control over how you live and the power to change your attitude. Attitudes and journeys are contagious in the positive and negative aspects. Make sure the slivers you drop are worth picking up!
Here is a short clip (it’s just over a minute long) of a project I am involved in. I would really appreciate it if you could give it a share so we can spread the word about the film.
Thank you.
Definitely join in the fun over at fatman’s Facebook Page
Also, I post a ton of food on Instagram, you don’t need the app, just click here
“Eat plants, move your body. All ya got to do is a little more than ya did yesterday😉 ”
Until next time,
Tim Kaufman
