- I am a high school drop out…
- I lost my dream job…
- I am an opioid addict…
- I am an alcoholic…
- I am a food addict…
- I have a connective tissue disease…
- I am morbidly obese…
- I can’t look at myself in the mirror…
- I am unworthy…
- I just want it to end…
Those 3 dots …
The proper word for them is ellipsis and one of the definitions is “an unfinished thought or omitted words.” For some reason those dots have been on my mind today. I am swamped with work and the last thing I have time for is writing a blog post but there’s that little voice in my head that’s pushing me to get these thoughts on paper before they are gone tomorrow. So here goes, short and to the point!
I have hidden a ton of skeletons for years. The past is the past and I get that. It is so easy for me to get caught up in the guilt of my past. On the way home today I was speaking a voice text and said dot, dot, dot to leave that sentence hang for a future thought. I wondered how the 3 dots came about. Then I started thinking of all the dot, dot, dots that I have in my life. What an amazing thing those dots are. I thought to myself, if it wasn’t for those simple dots, those unfinished thoughts, I would be dead.
Although I am not proud of my past I am not only proud of those dots but I am overwhelmed with gratitude and thanks for those dots. Those dots have been, and still are turns in the trail. I can be ashamed of my past or proud of those dots. Even today as I was walking down the hallway I was thinking man, “I have a terrible limp when I walk.” But I know that I can toss those 3 dots in front of that to make it an unfinished thought. It’s a choice, I get to choose where those dots go.
Sometimes we don’t get to see what is on the other side of those dots until after the fact. Sometimes it’s so scary to put those dots in the front of our bad habits. Most of the time those 3 dots mean we are heading into the unknown and we have to let go of our comfort. Sometimes we have no choice but to mark down those 3 simple dots and search for that unfinished thought. So I want to show you what a few of the things on the other side of those dots look like. Every one has these and I think it’s just a matter of recognizing that our words, lines, and stories, are always in the “to be continued” mode until we breathe our last breath. I just love that!
…
- I am a high school drop out… that started to understand the value of education as I worked my tail off to earn 7 degrees with 4 in engineering and a masters in education.
- I lost my dream job…and kept my mind opened to other fields and landed in my dream career doing what I love.
- I am an opioid addict…who decided life was not about escaping reality but embracing life, the good parts, along with the not-so-good parts.
- I am an alcoholic...that had to admit the answer to problems was not at the bottom of that bottle and that bottle was a huge source of pain for myself and my family.
- I am a food addict…that realized physical activities can also fire off that “feel good” dopamine and have positive outcomes instead of feeling like crap.
- I have a connective tissue disease…but I can do so much more than the doctors said I could.
- I am morbidly obese…which helped me stumble onto a plant-based lifestyle that made me super healthy and as a result I lost the extra weight that I had carried around for years.
- I can’t look at myself in the mirror…without loving myself and being proud of who I am becoming.
- I am unworthy…but I am forgiven. I have been created for a purpose and I can live a life of purpose even with the scars, skeletons, and everything else I am toting.
- I just want it to end…life that is, I want it to end with making the world a better place. I want to add as much gratitude, kindness, hope, and love as I can share.
Those dots are pretty special to me. I thank the Lord everyday for those dots, those second chances, that opportunity to get another day to enjoy this precious life.What are your dots? I bet you would be as surprised as I was if you start writing them down. Give it a whirl and start looking at situations that seem hopeless with those 3 dots in front of them. It’s scary I get it, but so is staying in the hopeless situation.
If you would like to check out a film that HOPE the Project made out of my story check out the links below. If you think this will help someone, give it a share!
