Where is this all going to end?
Where is this all going to end?
A friend asked me that once. It seemed like such a simple question and you would think that I would have spent time considering the trajectory of the path that I was on. Maybe I didn’t want to think about it because I knew how things were escalating exponentially. Maybe I just didn’t want to face the inevitable. Maybe I had never cared about myself enough to stop and think. I’m not really sure, but for some reason that question, “where is this all going to end?” was burning a hole into my mind. For days I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I knew my body couldn’t handle much more of the abuse I was putting it under. The painkillers and alcohol I was consuming in one day would have likely killed a normal person. The amount of unhealthy food I was eating would have made anyone sick. Where was this all going to end? Death. Continue reading
It had been an entire year of planning and not a day went by where I hadn’t thought about it at one point or another. I had played this day out in my head for an entire year. I anticipated it to be one of the most memorable days in my life and my anticipation did not disappoint. I had never worked so hard toward a goal. Continue reading
It’s been a few weeks since I have been able to actually sit down and write. I have been crazy busy getting ready for this marathon and it has been 100 percent of my focus. I finished the marathon, learned a few lessons, and have a couple stories about it. I had every intention of writing about the marathon and maybe I will, but something that Bucky Gleason, a writer from the Buffalo News, said to me has been bouncing around in my head. We had been discussing the estimated time it would take me to run the 26.2 so he could interview me at the finish. I was clearly stressed by wanting to finish at what I thought would be a reasonable time. Then Bucky said something like this, “Your story is not about the finish line, it’s the fact that you made it to the starting line that’s amazing.” I had never thought of it this way. How did I get here? How did we go from considering a motorized scooter to even registering for a marathon? There’s no doubt that many factors were at play but here is a little note I jotted down about a week before the marathon as a blog post idea.
The other day I was walking down a hallway at work and the stage crew was moving things around in and out of the prop room. In the hallway there was a pretty impressive stone wall that was very realistic and had to be 20 feet long and 7 feet tall. It looked like it would be used for a castle or maybe a dungeon. The wall looked like it weighed a ton. Two young ladies were pushing this wall through the hallway with almost no effort whatsoever. As the wall sailed around the corner the young ladies were having a conversation as they walked and acted if the wall didn’t even exist as they moved it. It was hard to see but as I looked closely, I noticed a set of casters at the bottom that were barely noticeable. I never saw the wall on the stage but my best guess is that from the audience’s perspective the wall looked impenetrable and unmovable. Continue reading
I’ve been meaning to write about this topic for a while now. I was reminded of it after a conversation with Josh LaJaunie. Josh will never understand how much our conversations and interactions mean to me. For over 3 years I have felt like I have stumbled around to find how my body works on the most natural level. I have learned so much but I have a ton more to learn. Many of the lessons and new ideas that run through my head Continue reading